It's Only You, Isn't It?
by kingandlionheart
Summary: Wolfgang has got to stop these nightly visits.


Blocking Kala out was easy, easier than he imagined it would be. Wolfgang figured that with the events that had transpired only just a week ago, between murdering his uncle and worrying over Felix, the ease to which he blocked out other thoughts, and people, in his case, was simple. He couldn't bring himself to talk to her now. Now that he had looked her in the eye and told her to marry Rajan. After he had planted the bullets in his uncle's face that had made the walls grow red around them.

She knew what he was now, she knew why he had to stay away from her. She was too pure, too good for the likes of him. Where he was darkness she was light, her life was simple and his was nauseatingly difficult. They were too different, two planets floating on such different orbits that he truly didn't understand why they were connected in such a way, at least why she was to him. Their bond was strong, stronger between them than with anyone else in the cluster.

And he loved her. He loved her like he had never felt love before, like the air in his lungs wasn't sufficient to endure even the thought of her. That was why he let her go.

He had let her go, blocked her out, but that didn't mean he couldn't visit her still. Even though the act made him feel like a voyeur, he would visit her while she was sleeping. He would let his walls slip just slightly. Enough that he could be where she was, yet not enough to wake her up. He tried to stay away completely, but he couldn't, and these nocturnal visits helped to remind him that she had been real. That even though he was a monster, at least he wasn't a lunatic.

She was laying on her back, her raven hair fanned out against the pillows and her arms lifted above her head like a halo. He sat ever so gently on the side of her bed, reaching out to push a stray curl behind her ear. She rustled in her sleep, a small smile ticking up the corners of her mouth. _Mein Gott, Sie ist so sch_ _ö_ _n_ , Wolfgang thought as he allowed himself to watch her a few moments more. With heavy feet he soon stood up and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, he was back in his own room, in the dingy apartment that seemed even emptier with Felix still in the hospital to not bug him at any hour of the day, and Kala and his conversations now a thing of the past.

"She misses you, you know—," a voice called from behind him, pulling him out of his thoughts and making him jump.

" _Schei_ _ß_ _e!_ " he breathed out as he turned around to face Nomi.

"—and what you're doing is not fair to her," she finished in a stern voice, her hand on her hip and her eyes leveled at his.

"It's for her own good," he replied, making his way to the kitchen and pouring old coffee from the pot into a mug. It was luke warm, but he took a sip anyway, if only to avoid having the conversation he was currently having. He had expected the cluster to chime in on his decision eventually, but it didn't change the fact that he felt it was his decision to make, and frankly no concern of theirs.

"She's a grown woman, Wolfgang. She can decide what she wants to do for herself."

Wolfgang nodded. "You're right, she is a grown woman. And a very smart woman, smart enough to know she should heed my advice. Me interfering at this point would just be an annoyance."

"An annoyance?!" Nomi exclaimed. "Wolfgang she loves you! And you love her! We _all_ feel it, and we feel her pain now that you're ignoring her."

"Love in a cluster is narcissism," he replied quietly and turned away from her, cutting off the connection.

* * *

When Wolfgang awoke to the sun streaming in on his face, he wasn't alone. Lito sat at the end of his edge of his bed.

"You're making the wrong choice, amigo," he said simply.

Wolfgang sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "What, no good morning?" he asked.

"You can't make her decisions for her. Where is the man who beat the shit out of someone for me? I don't think that's the man to hide."

Wolfgang slammed his fist onto the mattress. "I'm not hiding!" he yelled. Lowering his tone, he said, "I'm helping her. Now if you wouldn't mind to kindly fuck off, I have things to do."

Lito raised his hands in defeat. He gave Wolfgang an incredulous look before his disappeared.

Wolfgang rose and dressed quickly. He left his apartment on the way to the subway to see Felix, the usual way he started his day. Felix's condition was improving, but Wolfgang was there everyday, he would be until he woke up.

As he walked Wolfgang passed the café where he had sat with Kala in the rain. It was his usual spot, he had begun his days with a coffee there for years. As he looked at the entrance he willed himself to walk in, like normal, and buy a coffee, like normal. Minutes passed as he paced the entrance. Finally, he left. Instead he grabbed an energy drink at a convenience store before he took the stairs the the subway. Redbull didn't leave a lingering taste of chai in his mouth.

That night, as the hours slowly creeped into morning, he found himself back in Mumbai, pacing back and forth across her room. Her room, decorated in the brightest of colors, that was so unlike his own. A bouquet of flowers set on her dresser, and by the volume of it, Wolfgang guessed it was from Rajan. Lilies, marigolds, and roses spilled over the edge of the vase that was barely containing them.

Wolfgang walked over to the dressed and plucked a single marigold from the bunch. He walked over to her bed and sat at the edge. At this point the action felt like a ritual. Night after night he found himself suddenly transported to the balmy air of India, even if he didn't intend for it. He turned the bud over in his fingers and sighed. "No more of this either, Kala," he whispered as he placed the flower into her open palm and disappeared.

* * *

Kala woke only a few hours later with the rising sun. She stretched her legs out from the crinkled sheets and turned her head, catching a wisp of gold out of the corner of her eye. The marigold flower sat delicately on her pillow. She bit her lip at she took the stem between her fingers.

"Wolfgang," she whispered as tears pooled in her eyes.

* * *

AN: Woooow I haven't written in a while. This is just a little thing to see if I want to continue a story I started with these two. So if you like it, show some love! :)

Translations:

Mein Gott, Sie ist so schön: My god, she is beautiful

Scheiße: Shit


End file.
